uh, yeah. Week 32!

It's pretty lame to start several posts with "sorry" - but I am! It's not that I have nothing to say - and it's not that I don't want to - it's just that once you get behind it feels like SO MUCH WORK! And anything that feels like too much work and doesn't pay anything is going to fall lower on the list. Sorry!

A brief list of updates since last I updated ya'll:

• For a brief time I was afraid I couldn't continue my careless eating habits... I failed my 1-hour gestational diabetes test; but then I passed the 3-hour one. So yay! I went home and ate a few (30?) gummy bears to celebrate.
• My lower back/butt is kind of finicky... but seemingly better now! *Knock on wood!
  
• Still doing my prenatal yoga. Blooma rocks.
• Contemplated a home birth... it still intrigues me, but... hhhmmmm....
  
• Still determined to do this thing naturally. More on this prep work later...
  
• At my 29 week appt I had LOST two pounds in a month.... but I was there yesterday and never-fear, peeps, I gained SEVEN. SEVEN. In three weeks. My adorable nurse, Nona, made me get on the scale again to be sure. I lovingly whacked her in the arm for it.

What's on my mind right now is that I've been inspired with a boost of energy with the new year... I'm reading this book, One Year to an Organized Life. My hope is not necessarily that in a year I'll be "organized" (although that would be nice... unlikely, but nice) - but that as we embark on baby #3 that it doesn't suck so much of the living energy out of our house and lives. I'm hoping this book will be sort of a "guidepost" for us in our haze of sleeplessness and new roles and work and non-work and schedule-juggling and needy children.

Truth be told, it's really for Andy and I. The time after Luke was born was a tough time for us individually, and as a couple. When Maren was born, both Andy and I were able to be home with her, thanks to having our summers off and the very convenient timing of her birth. Oh my god, what a cakewalk that was!!! Nap when she naps! Nap when Andy's got the baby! Sure, I'd love lunch! Oh, thank you, gorgeous husband, for cleaning the living room! Just wake me up when she's hungry! Wow... But Lukey, and this little one, both come at a time when Andy can take some time - but not nearly as much as with Maren. He felt disconnected to Luke-compared to Maren-and I struggled with such a clear-cut role of "stay at home mom."

And yet... it approaches! That same time! I will be home with the kiddos during my leave, and the parent without the boobs (that would be Andy) keeps working. At this point, and perhaps I'm being naive, I'm actually looking forward to it... Luke is older, and both he and Maren are so much more independent than Maren was when Luke was born...

Part of what is helping me look forward to it is combatting all the things that made it hard when I was home with Lukey... the house was always a mess, I hardly cared for myself, I could never get the kids dressed before about 10:30am, I tried desperately to cook but it was constantly disaster... I mean some of these things are our reality all the time - but I couldn't do it from day to day, it got too frustrating and too depressing! I would look around at other stay at home moms and think, "How the EFF do they do this?!"

I still generally feel that way; but I also feel more ready to take it on myself. I don't want to - and won't - stay at home full time in the long run. But I also don't want this time to pass me by. Since we know this is our last kiddo (yes, people, it will be our last) it helps me not push it all under the rug. The chaos will come. The house will be disaster. My kids will try my patience and push me to the edge of sanity. THIS WILL HAPPEN. A LOT. But I think maybe this time I'll be able to handle it better...

Maybe? I guess we'll find out!